Moving In an Elderly Parent
The Benefits and Drawbacks of Moving In an Elderly Parent
When a parent needs to move out of a home cherished for years the first thought may be to have your loved one move in with you. While you wouldn’t be alone in this train of thought, there are both benefits and drawbacks to this kind of living arrangement. Because it may or may not be the right move and if you are not prepared, you could end up with stress, fatigue and a strained relationship. However, if all things are considered and worked out beforehand, there could be benefits for both sides. So below are some of the benefits and drawbacks of having a parent move in with you:
If assistance and supervision is needed:
Benefits: When you can care for a parent who is aging, you can give back all the love and support that your parent gave you. It also sets a good example for your younger children and shows them how to nurture. They can even help with small care chores that you may assign. In turn, if a parent is still relatively healthy, your senior loved one can provide occasional babysitting services and help with some of the less difficult household chores.
Drawbacks: If your parent will need a lot of care, however, you will need to know what your limits are. You must be realistic with the fact of what you can or can’t do also. So, if you work full time, or have young children, you may need to hire an in-home caregiver to help.
How the finances will be handled
Benefits: After the move, the family member can contribute to the family budget. Also, by pooling the resources together, a better living arrangement may be found for everyone. This could entail combining all the financial resources and finding a better home which will be big enough for everyone. By having a financial discussion before the big move additionally, this will go a long way to making the financial issues go smoother.
Drawbacks: There could be financial backlash from siblings. If money that they were expecting as an inheritance is used by you for the expenses of having your parent live with you, there may be bad feelings. Financial disagreements often develop between the siblings and the sibling who is the caregiver even when the caregiver is doing everything right. It will cost money to have a parent live with you, so talking with your siblings before the move is the best option. Even if they are recalcitrant, you included them in the discussion.
How the changes will affect you and the other family members
Benefits: Your children will get to really know Grandma or Grandpa. If you are close to your Mom or Dad, you will have your loved one there.
Drawbacks: If you had a strained relationship with your parent, the closeness with renewed compassion and reaching out could heal it, but it could also bring about conflict regardless of your effort. There is no set solution to this either because some wounds are deeper than others on both sides. But you do need to address this aspect of your relationship before the move if it is truly going to cause real friction.
In addition, household rules will need to be discussed with ones that won’t work being discarded and possibly new ones being added. You may also find that the way you do things outside of the rules will be changed like how you cook. Additionally, there will be a loss of privacy for your parent as well as for other members of the family.
To close, many people have had a parent move in with them, and the move was beneficial. Just make sure that you have all the coming changes that are anticipated considered with questions answered and issues worked out before the big move.