How to Discuss End of life Decisions with Parents
Adult children are more hesitant to bring up end of life decisions with their elderly parents, or loved ones. Most family members worry that with the wrong approach, their loved one will find it morbid, insensitive, or pointless. But, it’s so important that these conversations occur. Keep reading to learn 4 ways to discuss end of life decisions with parents.
1.) Start Small:
First, it’s important to remember that you don’t have to ask your parents questions regarding their final days right away. Instead, start the conversation with an alternative point of view, ask positive questions about what they enjoy doing, how they feel emotionally and spiritually, what they look forward to, and or what the best part of their day is. Also, you can use a prop to open up the conversation. For example, a news story, a book about end-of-life issues or even a real life situation that you know about.
2.) Use open-ended, non-threatening questions:
Next, once you’ve opened up a comfortable dialogue, you can then ask open-ended questions. For example, do they want feeding tubes, life support, hospice and palliative care, etc. These can give you cues about what your loved one’s true values, what they care about, and what quality of life they want. It makes it less stressful, and more insightful for both you and your loved one.
3.) Document Parents/Loved one’s wants:
Make sure while you have these conversations with your loved one, it’s important to record them. Whether it’s with your phone or jotting down a few notes. Even though these aren’t official legal documents, it could end up very helpful. Especially when you’re in crisis trying to remember everything your parents have said.
4.) Follow up with Medical & Legal authorities:
Lastly, do not forget to consult with your loved one’s doctors and lawyer. They are a very important element to this process, so be sure to make them a part of this. But, make sure you have your parents wishes in writing, and have someone as the designated healthcare decision-maker or executive. By having your parents discuss these things to their doctor can help sort out what kinds of decisions they can make now, and what decisions are reserved for later.
In our society, we tend to avoid talking about death, and terminal illnesses, specially to older people. It tends to make both parties uncomfortable. So, it’s important to not wait until our loved ones are too sick, or impaired to provide insights into what they want. So, if you have any questions regarding our services or aid please call us call us at (561) 440-2273 for our Lake Worth Office, or at (561) 440-2273 for our Palm Beach Gardens Office.